As an INTJ, one of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, there are many things that annoy me, but here is a list of the worst ones. I’ve tried to remove the ones that are just personal and kept the ones that seem universal to INTJs, although these aren’t exclusive to this introverted personality type. These pet peeves are not ranked in any way, because I get really annoyed by all of them, and I have no idea how you measure “annoying-ness.” The degree to which I get annoyed also depends on who annoys me; if it’s a close friend, I don’t get as frustrated.
So, here goes the list to avoid annoying your INTJ!
Things That Annoy INTJs
1. A lack of logical reasoning
INTJs like to look at situations logically and find the reasons behind everything. I like to take a situation apart and analyze how someone responded and what may be the cause of it. If I like something, I know why I like it, and I can give you a cohesive reason. I get really annoyed by people who say, “I just like it,” with a shrug.
Someone once commented, “You need to have a reason for everything, don’t you?” to which I was somewhat hurt due to their tone. But yes, I do need a reason for everything. It bothers me when there is no good reason, and I will make one up if I have to.
Introverts do not like to share too much about their lives, and INTJs are one of the most private personalities. It exhausts me when people overshare, and honestly, in a work email, do I need to know about your sister who bullied you in third grade, twenty years ago?
3. Incessant talking
We all have that one person who comes in and does not stop talking, even if they don’t know you well. It bothers me to no end because it would be rude to tell them to stop (although sometimes I do tell them to shut up). What’s more, it’s usually impossible to change the topic, because they just bring it back to themselves.
I would say incessant talking isn’t as bad as oversharing because I can tune the person out, but it makes me exhausted and unhappy. So I do get annoyed at people who talk unendingly. But if you can tell me interesting stories or information, I would willingly listen to you for hours. They do have to be interesting, though.
Saying that you know how to do something and actually didn’t repeatedly? I will not trust you with anything that you say you know how to do again.
It also makes me seethe inside when I see someone who thinks they know how to do something, but actually does not. If I offer my help a few times but they get upset, I just fume inwardly in the future.
If you tell an INTJ that you don’t know how to do something, an INTJ would be much more understanding and probably offer to help you (without looking down at you!) if they knew how to do it.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I am not overly bothered by late people, if they are late on a consistent basis (also partially due to me growing up with a chronically late family); I can plan ahead and tell you a time that’s earlier, or bring something I can do in the meantime.
But I do get upset if you’re usually early and then suddenly late, and then early. I need that consistency.
I also hate it when people change their “yes” to a “no” after a while, leaving me scrambling. Or when an authority figure allows something for one person but not the other, all other things being equal (age, experience, etc.).
Please, not this. I hate when people say, “Well, I’m just a slow worker!” and goof around while working. Like, dude, you can work much faster than that if you put in the effort and stop lazing around.
I like to give my best in everything I do, and I see time as money, so I love efficiency. Some INTJs may need to dial back on this a bit because there’s a point when efficiency hurts and does not benefit, but inefficiency still annoys me. I get especially frustrated when I expect efficiency but get the opposite.
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7. Unnecessary rules
INTJs love to question the status quo, and unnecessary rules bother us to no end. Usually, these rules also impede efficiency, something that INTJs value highly (see #6).
If you want them to be happy, let your INTJ create the rules. They will not make unnecessary ones, I promise. As INTJs love to think and reason, they will have a legitimate reason behind every rule they make (even if it is just to annoy you for fun!).
8. Social niceties
Like many introverts, INTJs dislike small talk, one of the core components of social niceties. But often, we see no way out. I see it as a game I have to play, but it does not mean it doesn’t annoy me.
Most INTJs, at least mature INTJs, do not wish to offend, but realize they sometimes do because of how bad they are at social niceties. They thrive when their bluntness and dry wit is appreciated, without the fear of offending someone they care about. But an INTJ will never be a fluffy teddy bear.
9. Aimless activities
See #6 for inefficiency. INTJs see aimless activities (i.e. activities without a goal) as something inefficient, and will always try to get out of them. I do not always escape because sometimes my brain is slow at formulating a convincing excuse to not go.
Another kind of aimless activity is when people show up just to “hang out” or spend time together without any preparation. INTJs hate wasting time, and these are another kind of time-wasters. I don’t really mind when I can connect with the person in question on a deep level, but I hate when we just cast around for something to do on the fly, without any preparation.
INTJ, can you relate? What would you add to this list? Let me know in the comments below.